


Win & Lose

by Colamiilk



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: A bit of real fighting mixed in, Bipolar Justin, But not in the way you're thinking, Giriko puts up with so much, Giriko's kind of an asshole, Just a long excuse to write them sparring u-u, M/M, Madness Justin, None of this is advisable, Play Fighting, Self Harm, This probably makes no sense at all but idk I love it, head injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 16:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20997569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: “What do you mean what am I doing? I’m minding my own business, you should take a page out of my book there.” Giriko rolled back on his ankles, standing up in a quick aggressive kind of way. He was trying to be threatening, probably not even consciously.---Goretober 2019! - Day 11: Beaten





	Win & Lose

**Author's Note:**

> I took a bit of a break because I was feeling super worn out and because school is kicking up for me, I'll try to get back into rhythm soon but we'll see ;v;)/ I have a midterm coming up aha rip

“What are you doing?” Justin’s fingers stopped scraping the file back and forth against his nail in a dead stop. Things were slow and boring around here, everyone was off doing their own thing and Justin had been just messing about on his own. He wasn’t expecting to see a face crouch down into his vision and start talking to him. He wasn’t really interested in seeing that. Sighing Justin leaned back and crossed his legs, getting centimeters away from decking Giriko in the face with the side of his foot. He didn’t need to take off his headphones to know the man was undoubtedly swearing and cursing up a storm over that. Stupid. It was his own fault for crouching so close to Justin’s legs. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m minding my own business, you should take a page out of my book there.” Giriko rolled back on his ankles, standing up in a quick aggressive kind of way. He was trying to be threatening, probably not even consciously. Justin had only known Giriko for a year or so at most, but it was sad how apparent the man’s flaws were. Smeared all about in dark red stripes that covered his skin, that left big angry Xs on all his most vulnerable parts. One painted so intensely on his face that it might as well be covering the whole thing. The fear of being seen. Of being vulnerable. 

“I  _ mean  _ what are you doing” Watching as Giriko pointed directly at his fingers Justin looked down to see the man was referencing the fact that his cuticles are bleeding everywhere, that he had filed right through them while shaping his nails. Justin looked back at the man who was now towering in front of where he was sitting, who was bending over him and clutching onto the chair he was on to trap him in place. He arched a brow in an annoyed question. Why was Giriko bringing this up? Did he think Justin didn’t know? He knew very well that he was bleeding, he had been doing that on purpose. It had been getting boring in here.

“And I told you, I was minding my own business.” Justin stood up under Giriko, bending his back into an arch so he could get all the way up without having to try and push the enchanter away. Giriko’s eyes widened, obviously shocked Justin had gotten around his  _ ingenious  _ ‘trap’ so easily. Ducking under the man’s arm Justin stepped out and way from Giriko, before circling around behind him to lean himself over the other’s back. He had flipped their positions in a way, only Giriko was more vulnerable like this than he was like that. 

“Justin-” Sticking both of his pointer fingers into Giriko’s mouth he pulled the other’s lips up into the shape a smile. He smiled himself, Giriko was undoubtedly tasting his blood and the dust of his filed nails. The poor bastard had frozen up, at a complete loss as to how to respond to that. Pulling the other back by his smile Justin stepped backwards, giving Giriko the room to bend even further, to be brought to his knees as he kept bending back in a desperate attempt to not have his mouth ripped open by Justin’s merciless grip. 

He looked livid. All this pointy teeth were on display the glare on his face was so intense that Justin could only notice how much skin there really was on a skull for it to be able to bunch up like that. Smiling sweetly he bent down to kiss Giriko’s bared teeth, taking extra care to avoid the man’s lips entirely. He could feel Giriko vibrating with an enraged growl, he could feel the guy try and open his jaw to bite a few times. It wasn’t working out for him, each time his teeth went to separate he was feeling the strain of his lips, realizing that he’d tear his mouth wide open if he fought against Justin here. 

“And this… is why you should mind your business mister.” The sweet  _ childish  _ way Justin said mister made Giriko swallow thickly. Justin giggled letting go and smiling at the wet sound of the man’s lips slapping back down around his jaw. Giriko took a few moments to react, Justin watched the other, on his knees his thighs spread and his head tilted entirely back. He looked infuriated. He looked pathetic. 

Finally the enchanter moved. He put his hands back behind him, supporting his back bend. Justin knew what he was doing immediately. Giriko flipped up, trying to get his leg over and around Justin’s head so he could kick the back of the scythe’s neck hard enough to send him crashing immobilized onto the floor. Justin only smiled and stepped to the side. His hair and vestments ruffled with the breeze of Giriko’s leg swinging by. Giriko’s other leg seemed desperate to right it’s brother’s failure, it shifted to the side, accommodating it's path for Justin’s new position. 

Justin caught Giriko’s ankle in a death grip, inches from his face. Giriko’s face fell, he looked horrified. For good reason. Justin was a fair bit shorter than him, and with no way to land on his feet… Giriko’s head slammed into the floor. Justin hummed in pleasure and stepped back, still holding onto Giriko’s ankle, to get a better view of the mess on the floor. 

Giriko had landed in such a way that his free leg and head were touching, he was still upright, but he was having a hard time staying that way with Justin holding his leg so far up. His arms were desperately supporting his teetering head and leg, giving him the appearance of an awkward four legged table. He was sweating so much, in enough pain that he didn’t even look angry anymore, he was just trying to keep himself from crumpling and making it worse. Taking pity on the man Justin dropped his ankle and watched Giriko collapse with the sudden weight disbalance. 

“Why do you do these things Giri? You know how much I hate to see you hurt.” Giriko’s body deflated like a balloon, in the way it did when he was groaning so loudly that he was undoubtedly using all the air in his lungs. Justin crouched down and rolled Giriko over, untangling him from his pile of pained sore limbs. The man looked a mixture of exhausted, enraged, and in pain. Justin’s mouth quirked down into a frown and he lowered himself to the floor, tucking his legs to the side and leaning on one of his arms. 

“What a load of shit you don’t like this.” Twirling a piece of Giriko’s bangs around his fingers Justin hummed non committedly and trailed his fingers down to push Giriko’s eyelid up. The man’s eye was pretty- sticky, wet and round with pretty golden brown haloing the top. There were more of the blood vessels the spider webbed the sides than normal though… He was even more tired than usual, wasn’t he? Giriko’s eye rolled over in it’s socket to look at him. He wasn’t slapping Justin away, but he looked exhausted. Justin frowned even deeper with the confirmation, yes the enchanter was most certainly more tired than usual. He let go of Giriko’s eyelid and the man sighed and rubbed at it in the hopes to remoisten his undoubtedly now dry eye. 

They sat in silence for a bit. Justin didn’t have a response for that. He drew shapes into the side of Giriko’s face with his almost completely dried up blood. Again, the enchanter didn’t stop him. Giriko was just laying limp, letting Justin play with him with a patience that was honestly impressive. Maybe he had learned one thing from those 800 years. Poking at Giriko’s bridge piercing he finally got a twitch, but the man relaxed again pretty quickly. Justin’s found himself grow the slightest bit frustrated. Why had Giriko interrupted him if he didn’t want to play? Was he really so much of a sore loser to lie dead stubbornly like this after one loss? Well… Justin supposed it wasn’t one loss… he sighed horribly, a complaint already ready on his tongue.

“I’m tired of winning. Can you get your act together and win for once? I’m starting to feel bad. Like I’m bullying an old man or something.” Giriko flew up with that, sitting fully up and spinning on his butt to face Justin with crossed legs. The way he grabbed onto Justin’s face with a death grip made the scythe’s cheeks squish together and look babyish. It felt weird, but Justin was more than just used to it, this definitely wasn’t the first time Giriko had done this. 

“You fucking brat… the only reason I’m not winning is because I’m going easy on you, because I’m not a psychopath that injures their own teammates for fun.” Giriko’s grip on his jaw was starting to hurt, he frowned slightly, displeased with how he was being held. Giriko’s grip only got tighter. Huffing Justin grabbed onto Giriko’s face in turn, holding the enchanter’s cheeks in between both of his hands he grabbed on and pulled outward. The direct opposite of what was happening to him. Giriko’s glare was darkening into something horrific, but Justin was willing to bet his looked the same.

“You say that like you weren’t trying to paralyze me with that kick.” Justin’s voice was muffled and weird with him being held onto like this, but his disgust carried over well enough. Giriko tightened his grip and Justin could already tell he was going to come out of this with a bruised face. He could feel his heart beat under the indentations of Giriko’s fingers were leaving. It hurt, but not nearly enough. Giriko was gritting his teeth, too angry about being exposed like that to focus on keeping his grip as tight as he could’ve made it.

“It would’ve been temporary.” Wrinkling his nose up Justin sneered at the horrible excuse. An injury was an injury, Giriko couldn’t hide from his losses with half baked lies like ‘going easy on him’ when he was trying shit like that. His lack of admittance, his refusal to accept he had been caught red handed was pitiful. Denial was a hideous shade on him. Parting his legs Justin moved one of them up and over Giriko’s lap so he could brace his heels against the floor and rip his face out the enchanter’s grasp.

“Did I do something permanent to you here?” The way the words came out of his mouth, all thick and greasy, showed how insulted he was by all of this. He was insulted. Giriko was a fucking coward calling Justin the violent one here. Like this hadn’t started with the enchanter threatening him, like he hadn’t been the first to attack, like Justin hadn’t just caught the leg that was trying to knock him unconscious. Justin wasn’t going to let the bastard deny that. He wasn’t going to let Giriko pretend he was the poor victim at the mercy of Justin’s psychotic attitudes. He was just as much at fault as Justin, he didn’t get a pass out of this just because he lost. 

Giriko was silent. There was no telling if he had realized exactly what he was doing here, but he probably hadn’t. He was probably just fuming trying to accept his loss. Justin face bent into something disgusted. He was tired of this. He was tired of being the scapegoat. Giriko should know that. Moving to stand up in a huff he felt Giriko grab onto his cross and twist it up into a leash. The disrespect shot through Justin like a bullet. If they wanted to see him as violent monster then why not show them what a violent monster was really like? What was stopping him from satisfying his bubbling curiosities in flesh, by force? His social standing? That was already long gone. They took it away from him without hesitation. It was already gone and there was no getting it back anyway. 

“Justin calm the fuck down.” Giriko pulled the cross forward with his words, forcing Justin’s face to come within centimeters of his own. Justin sneered and his hands came up to grab at Giriko’s shoulders and push him away. Giriko caught his wrists in a bruising grip. In that instant Justin’s stomach turned weirdly. He had been forced into a stand still, his neck was being pulled one direction and his wrists were being pulled another. He couldn’t move until Giriko let him move, not unless he wanted to choke himself. Giriko stood up, pulling Justin’s cross with him and forcing the scythe to follow him. 

“Why are you so fucking mad anyway? Did you really expect me to just accept you shit talking me like that?” It wasn’t about that! It wasn’t about that! It wasn’t that Justin was upset that Giriko had gotten mad, it was that he tried to blame him! That he had turned all of their games, all of Justin’s victories into another psychopathic flaw of the scythe and tried to pretend he wasn’t the same! He was mad that Giriko was pushing him away! Pushing him off as different and scary! He was trying to seem like he was better than Justin! He believed he was better than Justin because he wasn’t mad. Justin sagged slightly.

“No, did you expect me to accept the same from you?” Giriko blinked, loosening his grip on the cross and the scythe’s wrists in shock. Justin ripped himself away. His stomach felt hollow and his skin felt prickly. He was so upset. He was so upset but at the same time he could feel the air around him sucking everything out of him. A weird type of osmosis. All his feelings were slipping out his skin and dissolving into the blank unfeeling air, trying to create a balance. The atmosphere wanted to feel the same way he did, but there wasn’t enough inside of Justin to fill such a giant space. There wasn’t enough but it was still sucking everything out of him and leaving both of them painfully blank. 

“What did I say?” Giriko’s voice was sharp and annoyed, but none of the bitterness was directed at him. It seemed like the enchanter was mad at himself, at the very least mad that he couldn’t understand Justin’s truly  _ incomprehensible  _ mind. Justin smiled piteously. Reaching his hand up he ran his finger up the enchanter’s chain of loop earrings and let them bump together with a jingling noise he couldn’t hear but knew was there. Giriko let him do it. Patient. If Giriko was anything it was patient, but only when it came to the weirdest shit. He couldn’t be arsed to wait for half a second to get a drink, but he could wait hours for Justin to finish whatever bullshit he was doing. 

“Pick me up Giri.” Giriko’s face was shocked, annoyed and the smallest bit disgusted. Still, he only sighed before moving to pick Justin up anyway. Grabbing onto Giriko’s shoulders he jumped up as Giriko grabbed onto his thighs to hoist him up, trying to help as best as he could. Not that he had to, Giriko lifted him up easily and let Justin wrap his legs around his waist without any kind of hassle. It took them literal seconds to become intertwined, far too practiced with this. 

Justin wasn’t sure when they had gotten into this habit, and he was pretty sure Giriko didn’t remember either, but it had something akin to a ‘I might be pissed off but I’m not complete livid with you’ ritual. It had also turned into a ‘drop it if you don’t want to make it worse’ movement. Giriko would ask to pick him up or Justin would ask to be picked up and they could avoid having to mess with the kind of words that neither of them were very good at. Or at least that was what it was supposed to do. Giriko looked surprisingly unwilling to drop this. 

“Did you fucking forget what you were mad about already?” Giriko’s voice was mostly angry, he was undoubtedly annoyed that he wasn’t even getting a hint about what he had said wrong, but there was also a hint of concern there. He was worried Justin had actually forgotten that quickly. He was worried because he so completely and entirely didn’t understand what was going on in Justin’s mind. It was a horribly lonely thing to know that he never would. Justin sighed horribly and let his arms wrap around Giriko’s neck loosely.

“No, I just stopped caring.” _ I realized there was no point in trying to explain. There’s no chance it’d make any sense to you anyway. _ Justin buried his face into Giriko’s shoulder, trying to hide from all of this. He could feel Giriko’s throat vibrate with a response. It didn’t make it past his ear buds and he wasn’t willing to sit up enough to look for a repeat. He was done talking. Giriko wasn’t. Giriko poked one of his earbuds out, Justin’s entire body tensed up. He was getting ready to fly up and punch Giriko in the face for doing that. He didn’t get a chance.

“Don’t you dare stop caring about me little scythe.” Justin leaned back with wide eyes. It wasn’t until moments like these that he was forced to realize just how much of his height was legs. He wasn’t supposed to be all that much shorter than Giriko, but like this… he had to peer up at the older man. It made him feel far too tiny. It made the unfairness of this all come crashing down on him far too heavily. He was still little… He was still little. 

Why was that being disregarded? Why did they want him dead? Was being mad really that much of a sin? Did it really make all his effort, all the work he put into being as good as possible mean nothing? Apparently. Apparently… and what could he do about it? There wasn’t any cure. There wasn’t any fix. He was just worthless now. Not just worthless, not even worthy of living. Wiping at his dry burning eyes Justin looked back up at Giriko and felt his heart wrench.

“I’ll never stop caring about you.” Giriko was the only one who was even trying here. The only one who was looking to understand. Justin didn’t understand  _ why _ . He didn’t understand why Giriko was so patient with him, why he was willing to put Justin’s insanity and deal with his violence… but he wasn’t going to question it. He wanted Giriko with him. He wanted Giriko with him and even though he  _ knew  _ it’d probably be best for them to separate before Justin dragged him down too far or hurt him… there was no way he was going to let go without a fight.

“Good.” With that Giriko suddenly released his grasp, fully intending to send Justin crashing to the floor and walk away. The scythe’s eyes widened, it was like Giriko to do something like this to try and distract from his moment of weakness, his moment of vulnerability, but Justin still hadn’t been expecting it. Luckily, his hands were still clasped around Giriko’s neck, so when he went down he dragged the enchanter with him. They made impact with a deafening boom and Justin wheezed both from the force his back hit the floor with, but also from Giriko landing on top of him and crushing him like a bug. Maybe it would’ve been best to fall on his own.

Groaning horribly Justin’s face knotted up in pain. He wanted Giriko off of him. He wanted to be able to breathe again. Giriko didn’t seem interested in giving that to him. He seemed so uninterested in fact that he didn’t even move onto his elbows, he just laid directly on Justin, making it so the scythe had to wiggle his face into the gap between his head and shoulder to avoid suffocation. Justin didn’t have to ask to know Giriko wasn’t injured, and that the sole reason he was lying limp and heavy on top of him like this was because he wanted some kind of revenge here. 

“Giriko.” Justin wheezed the name out, it really was hard to breathe like this. It was hard to breathe and Giriko was still making no move to get up. He wasn’t even responding. What a piece of shit. Trying to wiggle out Justin managed to get his arms, which were still around Giriko’s neck, straight out. The way they were situated, with Justin’s shoulders pressed firmly and moving on the ground, made it impossible for him to bend his arms down enough to claw at the enchanter. They were just stuck upward. It was hard for him to even bend his elbows with his muscles being stretched thin like this. This was worse than how he had originally been. 

“This can’t be comfortable for you either, get up already! I get it! You win here!” Justin could  _ hear  _ the enchanter smile, his lips quirking up and a small triumphant huff of air dancing against Justin’s still exposed ear. Still, the bastard only raised himself up on his arms, he kept their stomachs pressed together. He was making sure Justin was still mostly crushed, still with nowhere to go. The glare on Justin’s face was horrible, and his chest was heaving, trying to get all the air it had been missing out on under the other’s fat ass. Giriko on the other hand looked more than pleased with himself, his smile was wide and toothy. He was looking down at Justin with a sense of haughty pride, far too happy about this small win. 

“I know I do, I’m just makin’ sure you know.” Trying to get his arms off from Giriko’s shoulders to slap the other with a vengeance he huffed when Giriko moved his legs around the scythe’s own to keep himself steady while he grabbed at Justin’s wrists. Justin was tempted to bring this back into full out violence again, to throw his arms to the side with all the force he could muster and send Giriko’s surprised ass tumbling off him. He didn’t though. He just glared up horribly and wondered why the hell Giriko was so intent on making sure Justin had no use of his limbs for this ‘reminder’. Giriko offered no explanation, he pulled both of Justin’s arms up while also keeping his weight firmly on the scythe’s legs. Justin made a strained, angry noise as he was forced to arch up.

“You do know what you’re doing, don’t you Giriko? You-” Giriko met their lips before Justin could finish, his grip painful and tight on the scythe’s wrists pulling upward more and more to force them closer. Justin started to struggle with a renewed vigor, more than just a little upset with this arrangement. Giriko didn’t give him an inch. He held fast and tight and didn’t let Justin get anywhere. They broke apart with a tiny wet gasp and Justin felt his face  _ burn  _ when Giriko bit at the tip of his nose in a teasing way.

“I’m going to kill you.” The smile on Giriko’s face said that he had been expecting that response. Justin was starting to regret his desire to stay with Giriko. This bastard wasn’t worth the time. Or at the very least was no fun when he didn’t let Justin tease him. Giriko finally stood up, but he didn’t let go of Justin’s arms, he pulled the scythe up entirely by his wrists, completely ignoring the pained noise Justin made. This fucking  _ hurt _ , it felt like his arms were going to be torn off. He wasn’t in the mood for this right now. 

“I know you are, or at least will want to until you calm down. So why don’t you hang out and take a breath?” Giriko probably thought he was funny saying that as he held Justin off the ground and let the other dangle. If Justin wasn’t so mad he’d pity the enchanter. How pathetic was it to think your horrible sense of humor was actually funny? He was mad though, so he only laughed sarcastically and moved to swing his legs to try and kick Giriko in the stomach. He got pretty close to making impact and Giriko swore a bit before readjusting his grip. Still, he wasn’t able to hold Justin too far away from him without letting the scythe’s feet hit the ground, so this entire situation was still pretty dangerous for him. Justin kicked his legs up to rest on Giriko’s hipbones and stepped down with all his weight.

“You’re such a stubborn brat. Can’t you just sit still for one fucking second?” Giriko was still annoyingly strong, and he wasn’t falling over or loosening his grasp. It was clear that this was starting to hurt him though, this was a test of which of them would get tired first. Justin wasn’t sure he’d win that fight, he didn’t have the same endurance that Giriko did, he wasn’t even close to having it in all honesty. What he did have however, was unexpectedness and a willingness to go completely overboard and hurt himself. 

“Justin!? What the fuck!?” Running his feet up Giriko’s stomach Justin curled himself up and over, moving all his weight so rapidly and shifting their balance so drastically that Giriko flipped over his back as his feet came crashing down to the floor. It hurt. His arms got so twisted up in that he could feel the microtears along his muscle sore and throbbing, he could feel where his skin had pulled so tight that it stretched a bit. His feet had hit the ground so hard that he could feel the bones in his feet and legs throb from where they had accepted so much force. It felt pretty good though, the pain that coursed through him tickled in the best possible way and let some of his aggravated adrenaline vent out in hot little lightning bolts.

Plus he had won. Giriko was on the floor again and Justin was the one still standing. That was more than enough to make it worth this, the pleasure the pain gave him was just the icing on the cake. Plopping down onto the floor besides Giriko he watched the man sit back up and clutch his head. That was the second time today he had fallen head first… Justin was starting to worry about brain damage. Giriko didn’t need to be even more stupid than he already was. Grabbing onto the enchanter’s arm Justin bit and kissed at the side of Giriko’s face and his ear. 

“I told you, you should’ve minded your own business… it was fun though. Did you have fun?” Giriko groaned horribly and grabbed the side of Justin’s head to pull him close and pull at his cheek. Justin let him do it. He loved Giriko enough to let him have that. Giriko sighed and kissed him again. Justin found himself tempted to play with Giriko’s lips, to pull at them and watch the man stare at him with annoyed, patient,  _ affectionate  _ eyes. He didn’t though. He found enough control in himself to keep his hands to himself. 

“Yeah if you can call that fun I guess I did.” Justin’s face split into a beaming smile, thin and sharp and filled to the brim with his happy approval. He could feel Giriko sag next to him in a tired exhaustion. Justin hummed and leaned back slightly, letting his mind drift off. 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing them slapping each other around is literally my favorite thing and I should do it more often but y'know. Also no one can convince me Justin isn't the type of person that'd have curious hands that want to mess with everything and forget that he's touching what's connected to a human a lot of the time. After all, how else would you be a good torturer? >:3c (also I've totally done that before and bless everyone who has put up with me)


End file.
